There was a time . . . I thought I was in control . . . of nearly everything. Ruled by the toxic-two, perfectionism and guilt, was absolutely debilitating.
It didn’t help that I wasn’t good at delegating. I thought I could do it faster and better.
Come now, you know I’m not alone.
I tired myself out trying to be the perfect wife and mother, the organic super-homemaker who baked whole grain breads, ironed on Monday, scrubbed floor corners with toothbrushes, polished my plant dirt, twice on holidays . . .
The kids had to be shiny and perfect. Only in a pretty world.
What a web and chain.
Oh, but then it got worse – I was sure my inner control freak could fix broken people. Life happened and spun out of control, and I realized I was the most broken of all.
It must be God’s universe, not mine.
The story of Peter ( he has his own book, you know ) helped me to see that God chooses the imperfect. The foot-in-the-mouth, fallible, fisher-of-men, follower-denier, was chosen as the head hancho of the inner-circle twelve. The rock God built His church upon.
I love how the Bible tells the truth about frail humans.
I have a close ( author ) friend who can relate to me, and you . . . and to Peter. Lady Lori, self-made sweat and success story, hit some bumps, but pulled herself up by her pink pump-straps every time . . .
Then, removed her shoes to finally bow down to holy abandon.
How did that happen?
Ummm, can’t tell you, but you can read her book, Super Gal vs God, and find out!
Then let me know how liberating it is being perfectly imperfect.
Verna
Verna, you are such a blessing to me. And I know your beautiful writing is a blessing to many people. As to the web of control, the worse part is knowing that we weave our own trap so willingly. Why? For that fleeting and deceptive feeling of accomplishment? I’m so thankful that God has taught me to unravel that web, one tiny spoke at a time. xo
You are definitely a blessing to me, and so is your book. I want to share it with everyone! Yes, and we can unravel one small step at a time – there’s hope!
An ongoing battle for me–to live web-less. A good reminder, Verna. Thank you. And Lori’s book is a great read to all who haven’t read it. A real page-turner.
Our chief goal – to live webless (and boa-less), right Carolyn? Yes, Lori’s book is the recovery manual for overdo-aholics!
What a precious word of encouragement.
I being the chief control freak have seen my Lord break me and mold me more and more like Jesus. I feel so overwhelmed at my “foot in mouth disease” I constantly struggle with, I want to reflect Him and so feel like a failure!!
Thank you for sharing this-words I needed today!! blessings to you
I understand, Joy . . . the struggle is over when we lay down the radical. And, how we don’t love the beautiful tools that break. Thank you for sharing!
Great post and great reminder we can simply come as we are and still be valuable for God’s work. I agree: Lori’s book is an excellent read!
Seems so easy, to come as we are, and leave so totally different – true value. Thank you for visiting, Lisa (and enjoying Lori’s book!)
Verna,
Did you get my comment to this great blog? Maybe you’ve yet to approve it. Let me know if you didn’t get it and I will write again.
Hugs!
No! How’d I miss it? Must have been my l-o-n-g day at work! My “supergal” schedule got in the way . . .
But, thank you for checking back to see if it posted.
O.K. here I am again! Yes, it is liberating to be perfectly imperfect, to just let go and give it all up to the Only Perfect One. And to think He calls us to be his daughters! Such amazing grace. Thanks Verna for sharing this great post.
That’s the amazing part – the imperfect, perfect daughters. Thanks for taking the time to re-write, Glenda!
A really good lesson to learn. It is so much easier when we yield. Thanks for sharing, Verna!
Relinquishing our control to the Controller’s custody – the BIG lesson to learn. Thanks, Laura!