My mom used to say, “Don’t let people get the best of you.”
You have met people who’ve tried to drain empty your best, haven’t you?
Me, too.
We live in a day when everyone is offended by something. And maybe we wake up with an attitude just waiting in our thin-skin to get offended.
We are all oh-so-human, and you may have noticed humans aren’t natural forgivers.
So, what do we do with ourselves – and others?
Since we’re only responsible for us, we need to know how to cope in a biblical way. The Bible admonishes us not to be oversensitive, and yet countless times my short prayer has been, “Lord, please may I not take offense” while someone is still speaking in an unkind way. We’re fragile.
There was a time not that long ago when I thought every little offense was worthy of confrontation. I believed I had only two choices, do battle or cry, and I knew I wasn’t going to cry.
Gratefully, I experienced grace.
Some offenses are hard to overlook, I know. I know! But it’s not worth the alternative of lugging around the weight of bitterness, anger, and broken relationships.
When others hurt you, remember your spiritual maturity is on display.
Written by the wise man Solomon, he says right there in Ecclesiastes 7: 21-22, Do not take to heart all the things that people say lest you hear another cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.
So, the next time we’re ready to spar, let’s ask our offended selves;
Do I need to make a point at the risk of losing a relationship?
Am I right? No really, am I?
If I shift position (and stand in the other gal’s flip-flops) would I feel the same way?
Yep, I understand. Sometimes there’s just not enough o’s in “It’s just so-o-o hard.”
But it’s then we can quickly forgive (because there’s not enough a’s in graaace) by calling upon our Father to give us the power to do what we are unable to do in our own strength.
Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Verna
BarbaraJean Gibson says
May 30, 2015 at 12:53 amGood post Verna…. so true!
Verna Bowman says
May 30, 2015 at 7:31 amThank you for visiting and commenting, Barbara – yes, we need to remind ourselves and each other what is true! Bless your day!
Vonda Skelton says
May 30, 2015 at 12:40 pmOh Verna, you have no idea how timely this post is! Just this morning during my prayer time, I specifically asked God if I was supposed to address an issue with another person. I had promised Him it wouldn’t be confrontational, but I that felt I just needed to share how something that was said had affected me. I asked Him to reveal His answer. And without having any idea it would be through your post, here it is.
Perhaps some things–even non-confrontational things–are better left unsaid.
Thank you!
Thank you.
Verna Bowman says
May 30, 2015 at 1:29 pmI love how our Father speaks in so many ways . . . this comment secures and blesses me more than you know, dear Vonda!
Patty says
May 30, 2015 at 3:04 pmDid my boss call you?, b/c I was really offended at something he did this week. And sad to say I’m sure the look on my face gave me away. Not my proudest moment. Fortunately we dealt with it quickly. A sign that God really has worked on this area. I only wish I hadn’t allowed myself to be offended in the first place. Next time. He knew I needed to see this.
Verna Bowman says
June 3, 2015 at 6:28 amSo timely, right Patty? I love how our Father speaks into situations through others. And it’s especially true of those times when another provokes and we respond in a God-honoring way (no matter!) I must’ve had a dozen situations this week alone that were not my proudest moment (even if just in thought of what I’d LIKE to say 🙂
But, our God reigns and helps us to be what He calls us to . . . bless you, Patty!
Pat W. Kirk (@PatWKirk) says
May 30, 2015 at 3:29 pmThank you for your wise words. Sometimes it does help to remember that we haven’t always said the right thing, either (speaking for myself).
Verna Bowman says
May 30, 2015 at 3:37 pmYou can speak for all of us 🙂 Thank you for your kind comment, Pat!
Glenda Mills says
May 30, 2015 at 3:29 pmVerna,
Growing up with 4 sisters was a good classroom of learning somethings are best left unsaid. No one wins when feelings and words spill over onto each other. Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Verna Bowman says
May 30, 2015 at 3:40 pmAbsolutely Glenda, thank you for always sending encouragement. I didn’t have four sisters, but I had plenty of class rooms to teach me this one. 🙂
Helene Bates says
June 1, 2015 at 1:26 amBoy, Verna, did I ever need this – and just at this moment!!
Verna Bowman says
June 2, 2015 at 8:13 amWell, I’ve had several opportunities to put this in practice just since this posted, Helene! I’m grateful it met your moment – and mine!
Laura says
June 1, 2015 at 7:23 pmThank you for this always timely reminder. The enemy’s greatest tool – offense. Good message, good Scriptures and good reminder. May we each take this to heart, and determine not to be offended by another – or offend. Thank you, Verna!
Verna Bowman says
June 2, 2015 at 8:39 amYes it is, Laura – the tool of division that creeps in so unexpectedly – it’s so appropriate to measure the things we speak and receive! Thank you, Laura!